Having a job is tiring. Working 9-5 makes me feel like I don't have any time to do things I actually want to do, because as soon as I wake up I have to get ready to go and once I get home I'm so exhausted I just want to sleep. If this is how adult life actually is please do not tell me. I think I'm probably lucky in that my skills lie outside of areas that would necessarily tie me down to an office job, like a lot of work that involves writing and other creative things can be done from home at least part of the time. If I had a 9-5 office job as a career I genuinely don't know what I would do. I just wouldn't do it. I 100% just would not. That being said, I don't mind the idea of working in a creative office like at a magazine. Idk man. Still learnin. Still growin. Still so frickin tired oh my god.

I've started listening to Wolf Hall on audiobook while I'm working and it semi makes things go a bit faster. Generally I like actually reading books (read boy in the striped pyjamas the other day, little boy pissed me off so much it didnt even make me sad) but I can't exactly just sit at work with a book out. Plus I've struggled to properly get into Wolf Hall and this way I don't have a choice.

As you may have noticed I am quite keen on this teacup thang I got at T2 a couple of weeks ago.

I started typing this blog a few days ago and since then a lot has happened. My life has pretty much turned on its head and I'm focussing on just getting through it at the moment, but I really wanted to get this up and I do want to keep doing this because I think I probably need all the distractions I can get. I don't feel ready to really go into things because apart from it being really personal it's not really something I've properly been able to come to terms with yet and honestly I'm just in a lot of pain, but I'm hoping if I just keep going and doing normal things like this eventually it'll feel okay.

I'm going to go now because really this was just to finish the post I'd already started, but no one has died and nothing of that gravity has happened, it's just a bit of a shock and a loss for me that I need to learn to deal with on my own. Next post might be less depressing, might be more depressing, might be in a week, might be in a month. I don't really feel like I know anything at the moment, but I do know I'm going to Italy in June so that's a little sumsum to look forward to.