Impending Illness Battle Plan


'Tis the season to get very unwell. 'Tis also the season to have adult commitments and responsibilities, and sometimes these things must coexist, so I have come up with a few ways to soften the blow of a looming sickness that you really do not have time for. 
An "uhoh I know this feeling" night routine, if you will. Enjoy.

Rest
Obviously.
If you feel like you're starting to get sick and it's past 8pm just go to bed.

Hydrate
One of my favourite tactics as soon as I sense any kind of ailment approaching is to try and flush out the sickness by drinking insane amounts of water. Not so much that I feel even sicker, but I'm assuming none of us are idiots here and we can regulate our own liquid intake. Beyond my undying faith in hydration as the key to all joy and prosperity, my godsister's dad always tells us to do this and he's a doctor so it must be legit. Drown the germs.

Cleanse Yourself
When/if you wake up sick you are going to feel disgusting, so combat this as thoroughly as you can the night before. Have a shower. Wash your hair. Do a little face mask. Put on some fresh, clean pyjamas. Get the contaminated vibes off and give yourself a fighting shot in this big, bad world of germs and judgement.

Steam
Doubling as a fantastic pre-game for the aforementioned face mask, giving yourself a good ol' steam can make a noticeable difference to how horrible you feel both immediately and in the long run. Great for the throat, great for the sinuses, great for the pores. Just fill a bowl with boiling water, chuck some essential oils or a tea bag in there if ya fancy it, pop a towel over your head and let the magic happen.

Prepare
Take advantage of the fact you have not yet been entirely struck down and do a few favours for Tomorrow You by getting ahead in any way you can. Plan your outfit, set aside your breakfast, write a very clear, concise, easy to follow to-do list for the morning... basically assume you're going to be operating at a slightly restricted mental capacity and plan accordingly.

Medicate, Obviously
Medication exists for a reason. If you are congested or have a headache or a sore throat or anything that can be combatted or lessened via the miracle of modern medicine, bloody nip it in the bud. I never do this because I don't live at home anymore and I don't know where to start, but I am also very, very dumb and regularly suffer as a result .

Magic Juice (And Other Vitamins)
Whenever Fiona or I got sick in Melbourne we would chuck some oranges, carrots and ginger in our juicer and drown ourselves in the natural vitamins. We refer to this concoction as Magic Juice because 1. we're us and 2. it works like an absolute charm. I would also suggest getting in any additional vitamins you can, whether through shoving your face with berries or cracking open some Flintstones chewables. If you're super lazy just go to Pret and buy their carrot juice and a ginger shot. At the very least eat an orange.

Hot Beverages
Lemon and honey like your mother and my mother and everybody's mother always tells them.
Also peppermint tea, ginger tea, any kind of tea except for licorice root because that stuff makes you feel slimy at the healthiest of times so I would not suggest allowing it to mingle with any kind of legitimate discomfort, but that's just me. Live your life.

Salt Gargle
One of the more syntactically abrasive phrases in the english language, this is a cracker for a sore throat. Salt and warm water. Easy.

Don't Start Frickin Sniffling
Just don't do it.
Blow your nose.
Be a big boy and blow your nose.
Think of your sinuses. Think of your future.

Actively Relax
Actively relaxing is not the same as getting enough rest. Resting is a physical state, relaxation is a state of mind. Please.
Once you've done your preparation for the storm, take a lil time to savour the calm. Drink some tea, watch a soothing documentary about deep sea fish and attempt to ignore the fact that you are gradually slipping ever closer to inevitable suffering and doom.
I never said these steps would save you, just soften the blow.

Meditate
I know this is a weird tip but things like anxiety and stress can make you feel physically fatigued and headachey and gross (scientific terms, I have a degree, don't come for me), so eliminating any mental contributors to your condition* may alleviate at least a small portion of your suffering. Plus you'll get to feel zen and superior, and that's sure to put a little pep in your step.

Happy flu season xoxo


*As of this moment I will be referring to any future bout of man flu as "my condition"

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