Hey. Yikes.


It's 1am and I really do need to sleep because I've got work in the morning, but I realised I haven't written anything on here since March and thought I would just pop in to see what's good. What is good with me is work. A lot of work. And a bit of sitting in parks on Sundays and museum visiting on the side to maintain the illusion of balance. Life is busy, and not in a particularly exciting way but I guess that's how it has to be sometimes if you want to be able to afford food and council tax and occasional adventures like the one I'm going on next weekend which I will tell you about later but not quite yet.

Whilst putting in the hard yards folding various piles of shirts I have been thinking a lot about what it is that I want to do with my life (yes hello it is still me and I am still pondering this as per literally always), and a smaller subcategory of that pondering lately has been this blog. I know I want to post on here, I know I want to be consistent and put more effort and energy into it, but I'm just not really feeling it in its current form. I don't really know what's wrong, I just know that whenever I sit down to write a post there's something stopping me and it kind of cuts my inspiration off so I lose interest before I even open the page. Not the best, not particularly conducive to the creation of enthralling content. BUT the important part to take away is that the inspiration is there in the first place. 

Despite this inconvenient mental block I do still get ideas that I'm excited about, and luckily for us all I've concocted a method of deciding how I want to move forward, so I'm feeling quite optimistic about the beautiful future we shall share once I've finished rebuilding. Even MORE luckily, for once in my life I don't feel as though I need to take a break while I sort things out. I've already taken my break and I'm over it. So for the next few weeks I'm going to try and force myself to just dump some thoughts on here (that doesn't sound gr8 but I promise I respect and value u thank u for reading I truly mean 'dump' in the most caring and deliberate of manners) whenever I can, and hopefully that'll get me back in the game.

I do also rawther hate my layout at this point but we're just gonna stick with what we've got for now because I am always way too tired to be dealing with any level of HTML and it takes a lot of effort to find a new one. Like I don't hate it but I also do. Something else that has been frustrating me more and more since I noticed it is the fact that despite raining about 5 days of the week there is NEVER ANY THUNDER OR LIGHTNING IN ENGLAND. NEVER. NOT ONCE HAS THERE BEEN. As I've said on twitter, a storm without thunder or lightning is just a soggy inconvenience and I do declare that I may have a slight meltdown if I do not experience some solid crash bang flashes in the VERY NEAR FUTURE. As I said, it is currently well past 1am. 

Reeling this back in though, it has been a bloody struggle to figure out how to balance pretty much anything with working full time because when I am at home I'm either cleaning, sleeping or sitting very still thinking about the futility of existence, but I seem to be managing to occasionally see my friends again nowadays so it's just blogging and youtube that are left to work out. Changes to come, adventures on the horizon, maybe a couple of mediocre warming-up posts before then but HEY. Life is a highway, yall. And I'm gonna go to bed now.


Ps. If any of you can place the reference in the title of this post I am proud of you.