Notes on 2016

HAPPY 2017 BITCHES. I am in a fantastic mood, have just had a most glorious nespresso with a combined pod strength that would sure as heck stress out my mother, and I thought I'd pop in and greet you for the first time this year! I have got a whole damn lot going on personally at this dandy moment in time, and being me I will definitely be sharing the many enthralling deets of that with yall in the near future, but for now I feel as though I need a bit of structure, so I popped onto my very favourite myspace survey website and found some Qs to A to get us reacquainted for the new year. I shall be answering year-based Qs for 2016 so that we can wrap that up and leave it buried in the past. Luv ya.


What has been your biggest regret?
That's not the spirit in which I live my life, buddy. Could have taken more selfies though.

One thing you are most proud of?
Moving to the UK and not having too much of an actual breakdown. Getting a big boy job.
I also think I have genuinely stopped giving a shit about the opinions of pretty much everybody which is fab.

Single most memorable moment?
I would say meeting Jedward but I did have a beer in one hand and a wine in the other when that happened so I'm not necessarily sure how accurate my memory of that particular moment technically is.

The drink of the year?
White wine. So much. Too much. Not even good.

Get any scars?
Emotionally. Also burnt myself trying to make toast in the oven a lot more times than should be possible for someone with my IQ.

Favourite song for this year?
Everything Little Mix have ever done, let's go for Shout Out To My Ex.
Was also HUGE on the entire Legally Blonde The Musical cast recording.

One moment from this year that you want to relive?
I'm not sure, but it would probably be a pretty basic one just hanging with my m8s ya know, just a sentimental hometown gal valuing the truly important things in life hey.

Relationships... just... need I say more?
Ha ha ohhhhh buddy I'm with ya on that one! lmao xx
Really though Fiona and I reckon 2016 was my most complicated year relationship-wise possibly ever. If my love life last year were a piece of theatre it would have won a bloody Tony. So many twists and turns. Extensive character list. Lot of angsty soliloquies. Couple reprises, couple lighthearted Popular-esque numbers to take the edge off the thousand No Good Deeds. It was a big one. And then at the very end it calmed right down and it looked like the act 2 finale but APPARENTLY THAT WAS ACT 1 AND NOW WE ARE TAKING BACK OFF HA HA BUT I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT WHEN I STOP IGNORING IT xxx

One thing from this year that will always stay with you?
My infant son.
Oh development, I've started making jokes to Fiona that my adventure for 2017 is going to be a child, and she is not enjoying it but I absolutely am. The guy I'm seeing has also joined in which is a great, completely normal bonding experience except then the other night he made a joke about it at a really inappropriate time and it was terrifying but also a strong confirmation in my mind of our compatibility. My mother, naturally, is thrilled at the prospect.
No baby.

One time you really cried?
Literally the entire year.

Naughtiest thing you've done?
Did some messed up shit on New Year's but guess what that was technically 2017 so probably no clue.

One time you really felt like a failure?
Very rarely in my entire life has this happened. I felt uncharacteristically pessimistic in like September/October, but never a failure. Because I'm me.

Fallen in love?
Yeah for a lil bit there but it was more of a transformation of existent feelings than a fall.

Have you stayed in love!?
Transformed back innit, so yes but in a different way.

Done an all nighter?
Literally the entire year.

Funniest moment?
Had some really classic gags with Dan. Once when we were on a couch in a pub I remember making him laugh so much that I thought he was actually going to die and was very proud, but no clue what I said, walking home from the bar at like 3am after SitC we had a right old cackle in quite a Sound of Music frolicking sense, but I must say the most surreal of all was us accidentally finding ourselves in the middle of a swarm of several thousand Jehovah's Witnesses.

Someone that you really miss?
Many people, but at this point the most poignant is probably Less because she USED to be here but now she ISN'T

Any really bad mistakes?
Nothing irreparable.

Someone you have come to hate this year?

Your lowest moment?
When Fiona and I were hella poor at the start of the year sometimes I would eat a cherry tomato as a treat.

Your highest moment?
Probably getting my job, or when my personality finally came back. That was a goodun.

Have you broken something valuable?
Nah but broke a small white bowl I got from Tesco the other day and that's pissed me right off.

Had your heart broken?
Several times over yes but I thrive on that don't I.

Made someone cry?
I should hope so or I've failed myself and the International Community of Ice Queens Incorporated.

Broken someone else's heart?
Only on a minor level. To my knowledge. But u never know with a loose cannon like me.

Have you left the country?
Which one mate.

Did you learn any valuable lessons?

Have you had a near death experience?
They let me do metalwork by myself with no training when I worked at Superdry so probably.

Out of body experience?
Most of the time when I was working in retail I felt as though I may have actually died.

Life changing moment?
Moving, trying a Doritos Locos Taco for the first time.

Was this year happier for you than last year?
I don't think so. I think at points it was incredible, so more individual good things happened, but it was also more difficult than any other year in my life and my brain was not in the best place, 2015 was a lot more consistent.

This year's most painful moment?
Damn I did some big cries, honestly so I don't know. Probably the lead up to moving was more difficult than actually leaving. Less leaving was shit in a different way than the other bits so probably that.

A really powerful image for you?
My own reflection :)
Really tho I don't have a mirror in my room and I think that's messing me up because I get my best work done when I can watch myself living my life. One day I'll prove it scientifically.

One moment you really screwed up?
Why did we move to Reading tho

Made yourself an arch nemesis?
Made myself into an arch nemesis, sure. The ultimate arch nemesis.
There are a surprising number of people in my wider social circles who have undergone a magical transformation over the course of the year and are now rawther up their own asses for very little justifiable reason but I don't think they even know I think that and I also wouldn't count them as nemeses because 1. I'm not actually crazy and 2. I just don't care.

One thing you wish you could just forget?
Would say Reading but I have pretty much repressed that entire phase already so job done.

If you could turn back time to this moment one year ago... would you?
I'm not sure. I would do it if we could not move to Reading and things would be the same for me now except for I had more money and better experience, ya feel? All part of a process so wouldn't want to butterfly effect myself. Mainly I just want to be YOUNG AGAIN btw it was my bday on January 2nd so hope u remembered and observed the occasion.

A time you fell straight on your ass?
Boat party in November but literally only Dan saw so I can live with that also it was 2am and I was pickled af.

Went to say something that came out wrong?
Yeah meant to say 'hey I have developed some complicated feelings and I am not sure how to process the situation' but it accidentally came out as 'I am going to cut you out of my life, goodbye forever'. BUT THAT'S FIXED NOW IT'S FINE

Resolutions for next year?
Don't be a little bitch, mainly.

Sum up this year in a sentence?
Moving swiftly on.