Eyyyyy It's February. Very much so.

What's poppin! It's the first proper post of 2017 and I am ready to rock. By which I mean I am onto my 4th Nespresso pod of the day (this is the means by which I now measure my life) and anxiously awaiting the arrival of a mac & cheese grilled cheese sandwich. May not have done a resolutions post this year, but GUILTY AS CHARGED, I am on a health kick.

There has been a LOT going on for me lately, some of which I eluded to in my last post, most of which I did not, all of which I will fill you in on in due course. I am in quite a #NoFilter phase of life (not literally, I'm so used to that weird rabbit one on snapchat that now when I see my real face I'm like 'wtf is that') - many sincere apologies, my sandwich arrived and then I ate it and now I feel very full and am questioning a lot of things in life.

ANYWAY! The traumas and tribulations of recent times. Let's explore. The easiest to cover is probably the fact that I was seeing a guy for a little while there who is pretty great, like him a lot, fantastic time and then about two weeks ago he moved to New York. So that was a bit of a spanner in the works, ay lads. Quite a turbulent little humdinger! The whole ordeal from 'found out today this might be a possibility' to 'actually leaving on a plane now' took place within the space of two weeks, so that wasn't hugely fun or particularly ideal, but I am a little battler and I have also been too busy to think, so we're doin aiight.

Next up would beeeeee I don't know I'm still really full and am listening to Everything by Michael Buble which is distracting me because what an absolute smash hit am I right. Work. Work is a very present thing, I am present at it right now. Work is going very well, which in itself is the source of my primary current conflict. Basically I'm being put on a permanent contract, which is gr8, and being given more responsibility, also gr8... but within the next 6 months I'll be taking over essentially the entire marketing side of the brand as well as continuing with the online content and advertising and everything I'm already doing, and I am somewhat concerned that this is going to ruin my entire life.

Not in the workload/responsibility/fact I have never actually studied marketing, but rather the lack of time and energy I'm going to have to do anything else. As it is I'm running on empty 99% of the time, which is why I haven't made a proper video since October and barely ever write anymore and fell asleep at 8pm last night. I'm also now 24 years old, which means next year I'll be 25, which means I need to have my life sorted and be on the way to achieving minimum half of my many dreams (all of the ones scheduled for my 20s, at least) by then, and none of my goals and/or dreams have anything to do with a traditional career. And I'm concerned that my meteoric rise to the top of the corporate ladder is going to result in my real proper aspirations being neglected. Therein lies my dilemma. Great job, ridiculous opportunity, REALLY should not be in this position so quickly or without any prior experience whatsoever... but it's not international pop superstardom slash running a personal empire from the comfort of my own sprawling Scandinavian-inspired home, is it.

I understand that life is about working your way up, and that what I'm doing now is going to set me up for a lot of frickin ridiculous things in the future, but I also know I'm going to have to really push myself to keep up with things outside of that or I'm going to be deeply, deeply unhappy, and I'm ALREADY SO TIRED ALL THE TIME. However, I also do genuinely enjoy and care about the work I'm doing now, so I'll just need to find a way to make everything fit nicely together and also still occasionally sleep. I hope you look forward to joining me on this beautiful journey. Even though realistically I will end up focusing less on career logistics and more on the why-have-you-moved-to-New-York and why-am-I-not-in-Italy-right-now side of things, as per usual.

No one ever leaves blog comments EVER (guilty xo), but do actually leave me one on this post just hollering about whatever is going on in your life, or what you think about what is going on in my life, or if YOU've ever had a grilled mac & cheese sandwich. Because it's so hard to contextualise the fact that people actually read what I put here when all I can see is numbers. And I know you're a human and not a robot because I type way too colloquially for those computerised plebs to grasp. Hundo percent kidding if you're a droid reading this in a future where yall are in charge. Hundo. Percent. Jokes.

I'm going to go make another coffee now. Sorry mum. xoxo