September: A Time For Scheming


Good morrow, friends. At long last it is September, my favourite fresh start of the year. I do rawther love a good bit of New Year's action, but my precious birthday is January 2nd so that justifiably tends to steal the show a bit. September, however, is for fresh starts and fresh starts only. As I said to my friend Jonny on Friday evening, it reminds me of the colour yellow, but in a promising, happy way. Like the shade they'd put on a bottle of high-quality fabric softener. Damn I love doing laundry. Now, the more pedantic amongst you may wonder, "Hey Maddi, if September is for fresh starts then why has it taken you four days to write a blog post?" Honestly the fact that I'm here at all is a triumph at this point so stop nagging and be grateful.

Turning seamlessly now to the scheming, I have had to be very resourceful this year. Normally I would kickstart my beautiful new life by buying a bunch of candles and going on a juice cleanse, but I'm trying this very adult thing where I stop throwing money at my problems for a bit, so there is no activated charcoal lemonade in my fridge this time. Yes, this is entirely based upon the fact that I'm currently giving myself an unpaid post-move sabbatical and can not responsibly justify spending 50 pounds on juice, but yall don't need to know that. You also don't need to know that I typed that sentence and then spent 20 minutes on various pressed juicery websites. We'll ignore that. We'll ignore it and pretend I've grown as a person.

Back to my resourcefulness. I literally can not even remember what I was going to write because I'm so distracted by the juices now. What I do know, however, is that my next post is going to be all about the specifics of me getting my life in order so hopefully the coherence of that will offset whatever it is that's happening right now. Tbh I spent the first half of August running around and freaking out in a positive sense, and the following half sitting very still and freaking out in a more traditional vein, so I'm hoping I have managed to get that out of my system and am now attempting to regain access to my calm. By which I mean I've started using Headspace again and forcing myself to write every day and generally making a conscious effort not to stress myself out more than I need to. Much more easily said than done, but I have faith in myself and Headspace Andy, and my plans are coming together quite nicely so far.

Long story short, as someone who went through the first 22 years of my life without actually experiencing the sensation of stress, my sudden complete inability to chill out/switch off is a very clear sign that my brain and my body are telling me something needs to change, so that is what I am doing. My next post will be an actual rundown of my game plan, but right now I'm going to go make some tea and a god damn sammich and then watch some documentaries in my pyjamas. 

I hope at least yalls brains dont feel like they're imploding in on you :)
Many blessings
x0x0

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