Down Time

What's poppin' tiny dancers. Today I come at yall feeling stressed but #blessed, as I think I have crafted together an answer to my woes. If anything I do is going to stick in the long run I need to figure out what the real issues are and combat those, rather than just implementing temporary solutions, and I feel like I've made a good start at that over the past few days. In fairness the temporary solutions are also necessary, which is why this weekend I have watched the entire O.J. Simpson show and slept for about 30+ hours, but they can only go so far.

Yesterday an Aha! Moment that I've been unwittingly failing to treat myself like the raging introvert I am, deep down in my reverse-Grinch heart*, set me chugging along on a train of thought that sho as heck lead me to Realisation Station. There are a lot of things that make me happy, but that I could take or leave. There are also a few things that make me equally as happy but that the absence of will turn me into a frickin nightmare. A frickin nightmare like you have been lately, Madeleine? THE VERY SAME.

It may have taken a while, but I eventually trained myself to remember to stay on top of my physical necessities such as eating and going to bed (she types at literally 4.25am), and now I shall do the same for my mental/emotional ones. There's a bit more to my overall plan than just that, and I'm sure I'll go into other components more in the future, but for now let's keep it basic. 

Things that are essential to my happiness:

Alone Time. As much as I love attention and seeing friends and running around doing 1000 things at once, I am very introverted and I need solid time by myself to recharge, otherwise I end up very, very drained.

Independent Productivity. I get a massive amount of satisfaction from being on top of things at work, but because my career now doesn't really play into my overall life goals I do need to keep things moving outside of that. That semi does sound as though I'm going to end up creating twice the work for myself, but I have a feeling that if I'm on top of my personal goals and productivity it's going to allow me to concentrate a lot more when I'm actually at work. 

Consciously Switching Off. Again, doing nothing inevitably leads to me naturally creeping back towards productivity with a much better mindset than if I'd been trying to force myself there all along. Also nice to give my brain a break.

Caffeine. Soz. But it's true. Not only could I (will I) write an entire post on the endless benefits of takeaway coffee (seriously you have no idea, just wait), caffeine has similar effects on my ADD as proper medication would and makes it a lot easier for me to concentrate, which is invaluable because god knows I truly can not focus for shit if left to my own devices.

Pop Music. I am, as I type this, blasting Christina Aguilera's Greatest Hits and loving life. My mood is entirely linked to, shaped by and reliant on music, and I can't emphasise enough the amount of times I've been in a terrible mood for no tangible reason, popped on a bit of 1D and felt immediately giddy with key-change-riddled glee. Jake most recently experienced this when we were on a quick mission to pick up some beers and I went from Happy To Be There to Huge Bitch in the space of about one second, as the sand in my Other People's Music Tolerance hourglass apparently ran out. Had a big ol' moodfest in the bottle shop, hopped back in the car, popped on Classic by MKTO and was once more on top of the world. I am a bit terrifying to be around.

Getting Shit Done At Work. Oddly enough if I actually do my job when I'm meant to it makes life easier. Whoda thunk.

My Own Reflection. Not even a joke. I get so much more done when I can see myself living my life and I don't know what sort of rampant inherent narcissism is responsible for that but it is what it is. This is the first time I've not had a massive mirror in my room and it is also the time I have struggled the most with prioritising and retaining the terrifying self-belief that is a hallmark of my very essence as an individual, so I'm thinking an Ikea trip may be necessary in the extremely near future.

My M8s. This is a tricky one for multiple reasons. First of all, a lot of the people closest to me are in Australia, and also because I have recently developed a tendency to put TOO much emphasis on seeing people/doing things and staying interactive which has lead to the lack of alone time that was slowly driving me insane. I think the key here is being aware of the people who are most important to me and that add the most to my life, and prioritising them rather than trying to be everywhere all the time and wasting energy on people who are largely insignificant in the grander scheme of things.

Creativity. This is one I've actually been pretty alright with lately, because the amount of responsibility I have at work tends to allow for me to also use quite a bit of creativity, and also because the nature of my job means that if I do have an unrelated creative thought I can take a second out and write it down properly. Could make more time for following through on those ideas later on, but for now we're hittin it ok. I do have a feeling I'm going to need to step things up in this arena soon though.

Sunlight. Yes, mother. I got your emails. 

Armed with this knowledge, I am feeling ready to jazz myself into a new era of productivity and fulfilment. Before we know it I'll be back to telling you how to live your lives instead of freaking out about my own, and isn't that just the way things should be. In fact, I'm gonna start right now and tell you to go write your own list of happiness necessities. Let us soar together. xo

*Fiona and I have a theory** that I'm a reverse Grinch and my heart is actually two sizes too big which causes me to feel everything like four times more than normal people. It's my cross to bear.
**I say theory but we are about 100% sure.