Get Weird

Y'all knew it was coming.
The only review any of us will need.

Black Magic
I was never not going to love this song. Those of you familiar with the influx of occult-based activity that has taken hold of Fiona and my apartment this year will be able to understand the fact that we are pretty much sure this was a gift from the universe directly to us. It’s essentially early 2000s pop with modern production value, throw in the witchy themes and it’s all I could ever really ask for. The chorus sounds a LOT like the song that plays during the credits of Anastasia. Being 100% honest I do not advocate using magic to affect other people’s lives, simply because of the karma that would bring back on you, but other than that A+.

Favourite line:
“Crystal ballin’… just to help him see what he’s been missing”, because that is most of what we do here at Casa Di Faddi.

Love Me Like You
Wasn’t completely into it the first time because I felt like it sounded like it was a bit too high for them to actually sing, but then I listened to it again when I was in a better mood, probably with headphones in, and decided not to care. It reminds me of Grease and I don’t actually like Grease because it’s just too long and knowing that it ends with that car bit makes me resent the entire thing, but somehow this is still okay. I say ‘okay’ but I will happily listen to this on repeat while trying out all the different harmonies. Fiona and I do a great acapella collab of this. Just stunning.

Favourite line:
“They try to romance me but you’ve got that nasty, and that’s what I want”, but only when sung with great sincerity and a serious expression.

Weird People
This one reminds me of Rocky Horror Picture Show for some reason, which I also don’t like. I love musicals I swear to god this is just a really unfortunate selection. I think I listened to this while I was at the gym once and now it makes me feel like someone is trying to make me exercise. I do like it because I like this entire album, but I find it very difficult to relate to as I am not one for dancing on any level and the automated voice makes me uncomfortable. BUT I LIKE IT? But I would rather listen to the other songs. It reminds me of rollerskating indoors and coloured fluorescent lights. I like to imagine that the robot in the bridge who says ‘there’s something about that girl’ is the same one Harry had that beautiful love story with in the 1D video for Drag Me Down. Fun fact when I was a very small child I fell out of my high chair onto a nail and I am starting now to wonder if that is why I do not like to dance.

Favourite line:
I don’t think I actually have one

Just friends being pals:)

Secret Love Song ft. Jason Derulo
I fucking love Jason Derulo. Absolutely can’t get enough of the Derulz. So this is, once again, all I could ever ask for. But here’s the thing. There is NOTHING that could have prepared me for how much I love this song. I listened to this for the first time with headphones on during my break at work, directly followed by Secret Love Song, Pt. II (which I will be writing about later and is possibly one of my favourite songs of all time, not just this album) and almost cried. Straight up almost bawled my little eyes out in the middle of a shopping centre. Yes, I was extremely sleep deprived and about half way through a double shot cappuccino but even if I had heard this at the most stable point in my life I still think it would have been exactly the same because this is just one of my songs. You know when you hear a song and you just know it's one of your songs. Can't explain it, you just know. I however do not know how to split this review up between this version and Pt. II but I think I’m going to save the proper explanations for Pt. II and just play the god damn song now. Yeah I haven’t actually started listening to this yet I just really panicked because it has very quickly become very important to me. Okay. Okay. Let’s play the song. 

I love Jason Derulo. Let’s go. Firstly, every single vocal in this song is flawless. Each and every single one of them sounds incredible and it makes me so happy and proud. So emotive but at the same time they’re actually singing properly and Jesy’s sob tone is exactly what this song needs and I’m sorry there will probably be literally no witty observations about this song because I just love it. Perrie fuckin smashin it. Good god girl can sing. HEY JASON WELCOME. I like to imagine he had to sing his name really quiet before he started his verse and they just took it out in post. Perrie and Jason singing together in the chorus sounds a bit like a vocal duel and I love it. I also really like the production of this a lot, especially because we also get the stripped back version in Pt. II. Leigh Anne does so well in this song. They all do. I love this song. Okay everything important will be in Pt. II but the production of this reminds me of STOMP a bit but like someone making really good music with garbage can lids in a thunder storm? I have a really fkin vivid mental image of that. And during Jason and Perrie’s chorus they’re like doing very dramatic turns towards and away from each other in the rain and maybe someone runs up a fire escape.

Favourite line:
How Leigh-Anne sings “OHHH” before she starts the last chorus

Love it. The musical essence of hanging out with your friends and having a big ol’ bitch about how much better you are after a massive break up and you also look really hot at the time and your ex has done something really stupid that completely takes the pressure off you because now everybody knows you have won so it doesn’t even matter what you do but you’re going to go out and celebrate it and look super great anyway. It captures that glorious moment where everything clicks and you realise you really are better off. Although I personally would not recommend doing ANYTHING to your hair after a break up because if it fucks up then you are going to feel even worse. Seriously. Like two week after my ex broke up with me he shaved half his hair off in a nek nomination video (100% dead serious) and yes at the time I did have to pause it half way through to go throw up but man did I feel better afterwards, safe in the knowledge that I had left my own hair alone and was instead getting progressively hotter because I could not keep down solid foods. Would not recommend, but silver linings lads. On a more normal level this is just a great jam for when you have a bit of a troublesome crush and need to keep it in check by reminding yourself that you are a strong independent individual who requires no outside approval to flourish.

Favourite line:
The entire bridge because it’s just verbatim an actual conversation that would happen. Also “he was just a **** and I knew it”, because u always kinda do dontya.

Any song that starts with sassy humming is going places. Musically I am completely on board. Thematically I am COMPLETELY on board. Lyrically it doesn’t even matter because I’m so on board with the other two. If we’re being completely real I don’t really feel that lyrics are a particular strongpoint of Little Mix’s but I feel like that’s okay every once in a while. A banger is a banger, even if they get the word ‘frenemy’ into the first 13 seconds.

Favourite line:
“Your voice dropped, you thought that you could handle me” cos they always bloody do don’t they. Middle school is a rough time.


I Love You
This reminds me of a music video of JoJo looking out the window at some rain. I’m never super convinced but then the chorus comes in and I think it balances everything out quite nicely. Golly they are really into emphasising their upper registers in this album aren’t they? This is one that I have been playing in the background as I do activities but not really jamming out to Celine-Dion-style yet. I actually feel like knowing myself I shouldn’t like this, but I do, so I’m just gonna leave it. Probs cos thematically it is very me. It reminds me of One Direction’s first album and I have NO idea why? Not musically, but the feeling that I get when I listen to it? Rainy. Very rainy. I do absolutely adORE the bit where Jesy sings “breaking, aching” but the aching sounds like ‘bacon’. Coincidentally any time they say ‘breaking’ in a 1D song I change it to ‘bacon’ like “Is your heart bacon? Is there somebody else on your mind?” so that’s a fun little connection.

Favourite line:
“Uh oh, uh oh” because in my experience with feelings that pretty much sums it up.

If this were by literally anyone else I would hate this from the very first note but it’s not so I will instead force myself to embrace it. I like when Jesy says “I don’t even know how I did that, need a round of applause” because I can relate. Hate the kitty cat bit. Chorus sounds like something that would play in St Trinians, or during that scene in Wild Child where they’re walking out with the hockey sticks. So apparently the vibe of this song is Rebellious All-Girls Boarding School Really Pushing Uniform Regulations, Possibly In Sporting Environment. It really bothers me that they say ‘gosh’ instead of ‘god’. Like a lot. Two tracks after this is an entire song about Jade and Jesy’s sex lives and yall pullin out the ‘gosh’ card. Come on lads. Overall not my fav but I can guarantee there will come a time when I’m in the exact mood for this song and it will be all I play until I overplay it and then can never listen to it again.

Favourite line:
The idek how I did that bit

Things you need to know about me before we begin discussing this song:

1. I love rain an unnatural amount
2. I feel a stronger connection to storms than almost anything else, particularly lightning. If I had superpower it would be to control the individual elements of a storm. This is a long-standing thing.
3. I am an intense little darling
4. I love clappy beats
5. I love Little Mix
6. I very much believe in signs and fate and things being made for me

The have released me in song form. I’ve been looking forward to this song since they released the track list and I saw the god damn title, and as soon as Fiona and I listened to it we were just like okay yes this is me. I don’t know how to explain the extra element that seals the deal but if you are close to me as a person (especially if you live in the same apartment as me and hear the specific songs I sing in my room on a daily basis) it just makes sense. Right down to the completely unwarranted Latin breakdown. Love a bitta O Fortuna. Works with the song. Works with my life. Did really well at Latin in year 8. No complaints. I didn’t think I would like the random boingy dance break bits but it gives me a moment to recover from the intensity so that goes alright.

Overall this song is chucking out Ancient Egypt vibes to me in the best of ways, like a really factually inaccurate but aesthetically and atmospherically pleasing movie about maybe Cleopatra where someone betrays her and she has them drowned in the Nile which is overflowing because of heavy storms but really she loved them but she just has to deal with that because that’s just part of being queen. I would watch that. Kind of reminds of the love story in AIDA. And during the Latin part I feel some tunnels under Ancient Rome, bitta DaVinci Code, couple cloaks and a candle. Apparently I was always an intense child and I don’t think much has changed. This one also has the robot from the 1D video.

Also fun fact the first section of O Fortuna is about the moon and yall know how I feel about the moon so.

Favourite line:
“Semper crescis, aut decrescis” :)

Just off to scouts

Had a look, saw this was written by Jesy and Jade, was not for one single second surprised. Took me longer than it should have as a 22 year old to understand the title but you may be surprised to learn that I have a deceptively innocent mind and these things always take a while to click. Somewhat confused as to how this got approved given their target demographic is presumably rawther young. Maybe it’s kind of like kids movies where there are jokes for adults that just completely go over the kids’ heads and then when you’re older you look back and are like woah hold up now. I LOVE the bit where Perrie says “make me go ‘ooh hoo hoo’”, no idea why but it makes me do a weird little head bobble. OKAY JUST REALISED ONE OF THE LINES IS “SERVED YOU A PLATE BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU ATE”. JADE. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PLAY THIS IN THE CAR WITH THEIR PARENTS. Thing is though, I can imagine myself singing along to this like "milkshake, milkshake!" and having literally no idea what any of it means, even now and for most intents and purposes I am a relatively experienced adult so it might be fine. It might be fine. Gonna get some angry American soccer moms up on the parenting forums tho for sure.

Favourite line:
Tie between “Excuse me, do me or lose me” and “I’m on that kissy kissy bang bang delicious”.

Love Me Or Leave Me
Oh this is a very sad song. Any song that starts with Jesy and a piano is gonna be a very sad song. There is going to be a point where I, too, am very sad and I will sit on my bed in probably some trackie pants with a bun and play this real loud on repeat and sing along with great force and emotion. Not currently actually in a relationship about which to become sad but fairplay that’s never really stopped me before has it. I am absolutely loving Perrie’s vocals in the chorus (slash always). This is one of those songs where you let yourself pretend you’re still sad about something you’re actually quite over just so you can participate in the emotion. I’m assuming other people do this also. I was about to say I need more drama in my life but I don’t want the universe to pick up on that so I take it back super hard.

Favourite Line:
“What happened” because legit tho

The End
First off I am very disappointed that ‘The End’ and ‘The Beginning’ were not some clever like artistically fitting duo of songs that work together to create a really beautiful overall picture of hope and rebirth that opens our eyes to a whole new world of musical possibilities but we all get over things eventually it’s fine. That being said, love me a good acapella track. Full disclosure this just reminds me of that time Perrie cried on stage and breaks my heart. I realise this whole thing is quite Perrie-centric but I am just living for the way she has dealt with the Zayn breakup because she looks amazing and seems so much happier and has fixed whatever it was with her makeup that always made her look a little bit dirty and I am quietly obsessed with her at present. The way Jesy sings 'I. Can't. Keep.' at the start is really effective in my heart because you can hear the frustration and I value the lil deets like that so shoutout 2 u, Jesy. The bit where they say “said I’m gonna leave, but I’m never leavin’” etc reminds me of the seminal classic ‘I Feel Pretty’ from that one pretentious girl in your high school drama class’s absolute faaaavourite musical, Westside Story. Also NO idea why but Perrie’s bit from 1.29 onwards reminds me of Toy Story. So does History by One Direction but soz yall no more spoilers that’s for another review.

Favourite line:
“Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!”

OMW to the year 11 formal

I Won’t
As the title of this song captures the essence of who I have been since I uttered my very first stubborn little word/command (“up.”), I can very easily see this playing over the top of an uplifting montage of my life at some point in the next year or so. There would be a lot of shots of me laughing in a behind-the-scenes-breaking-character way and the saturation would be pretty high and we would all be so proud of me at the end. This is one of the songs that I was immediately drawn to as soon as I heard the first bar. Bitta jazzy piano always got me listenin’. Pre-chorus has a very typical Little Mix handclap breakdown and oh son I have nothing to complain about with this one apart from the fact that my itunes will not play it loud enough. I feel it would be easily mashed up with Beauty And A Beat due to the line “aaaaaalllll that I got/want”. The bridge reminds me of my childhood years in a very gospel-based church choir and as such I feel included in the festivity.

Favourite line:
“I’ll never let it go, we had too much let it fall.” Because I am a stage 90 clinger. And “I won’t let anybody tell me no” because of who I am as a person.

Secret Love Song Pt. II
This is one of my favourite songs of all time. I don’t know WHAT happened but one minute I was sitting in an armchair with my cappuccino trying to gather strength to get through the rest of my shift, and the next my life had changed. There is just something about the way this song is written, and the vocal production, and specifically the emotion in Jade’s voice that MESSED ME UP YALL. Went back to work and was just standing there feeling like I needed to cry because it was like I had become completely centred and everything was very clear and hey guess what there is barely any part of this song that is relevant in any way to my life but I FEEL LIKE IT IS and I feel like somehow my life’s entire calling and purpose is linked to this song but I just need to figure out how? I haven’t even started listening to it yet to review I just have a lot of feelings that I need to get out. Part I was great but Part II just fits exactly into what was apparently a vacant space inside of me prior to this and I don’t entirely understand why. Vocally they all sound incredible, Jade kills it on the emotion front with her verse, good god this song makes me feel so sad and so hopeful at the same TIME I feel such a sense of PURPOSE THEY DIDN’T EVEN WRITE THIS SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THEYREALL POURING OUT THEIR HEARTS RIGHT NOW because that’s good music Madeleine but JESUS. Listen to this with headphones on when you are calm and alone.

Favourite line:
The one separating my life before and after I heard this song.

Clued Up
Tbh I’m still a bit on edge from SLSP2 so I’m not entirely sure what’s going on right now. I like this song. It makes me feel happy? I need to be in the right mood for it though. You are going to get nothing else from me now I’m sorry it’s like when there’s someone amazing on EuroVision and then I have no clue what’s happening for like three songs afterwards, even if they have pyrotechnics. Lyrically perhaps not necessarily the most creative but I think we’ve established that’s not why I’m here. They are going to be performing this a lot at radio stations aren’t they.

Favourite line:
“Love the good and live the bad” because I think it is a fantastic attitude to have, girls. Well done.

Just had to share in case any of u want 4 ur backgrounds:)

The Beginning
I am very emotionally invested in Little Mix. Every few months I will go back and watch all their X Factor performances and video diaries and then sometimes their winners’ documentary, and every time I watch them sing Cannonball at the finale I will get tears and so this song is a very magical experience for me. It feels like they’re singing about themselves but in a kind of druidy way? Like I get ancient viking vibes but also a cauldron in a cave with a little bit of the Muses from Hercules and also the witches from Macbeth. Little Mix more like Little Myth and rightfully so because I do indeed believe this is a story we should share with future generations. Is this level of attachment and investment an issue that I need to look into? Yeah, probably. Am I going to? No, I’m going to go watch them perform Don’t Let Go in week 7 and ponder how that truly was their turning point in the competition and the beginning of the formation of their musical identity as a group, and then maybe listen to Secret Love Song Pt II again.

Favourite line:
“A bit of me, a piece of you, with a sprinkle of attitude... a little dream, a lotta love” because that is how I approach the romantic aspects of my life. Also scheming.