How To Take An A+ Selfie

Let's just cut to the chase: if there's one thing I know, it's how to take a fantastic selfie.
Whether you find yourself in an exotic locale, need a way to show someone what they're missing or just look really good that day and don't want to waste it, the noble selfie is your friend. However, being #blessed with a Hungarian bone structure and a front-facing camera can only get you so far, and that is where my years of wisdom come smashing into play. 

Obviously look good.
Don't make this harder than it needs to be. If you're a person of the makeup-favouring persuasion, I would suggest at least making sure your base is good and your eyes are highlighted. Contouring and mascara are your friends. I also find that the selfie camera does not take as kindly to updos as it does a free-flowing mane, but live ya life. Make your own mistakes.

Know your angles.
My left side is my good one. Righty ain't bad - even better, on occasion - but overall it's just not quite on par. As well as knowing the angles of your face, use common sense when angling the camera. Too low and you'll add an extra chin, too high and you're going to end up with something that looks like it belongs on MySpace. I would personally suggest placing the camera slightly above eye level.

Sit/stand up straight, put your shoulders back and your chin out and slightly down, rather than straight up. As well as being an extremely flattering position, this also creates an air of confidence. Never underestimate the power of good posture. Yes mother, I understand now.

Think happy thoughts.
This sounds so stupid, but in reality it's easily as essential as good lighting and not mashing your chin into your neck. The easiest way to fuck up any photo is to look dead in the eyes. Go look in a mirror and take in the difference a simple smize makes, then look into that camera like it's a real person and you know a hella funny secret joke. Probably at someone else's expense.
Basically just look really pleased with yourself and smize til u diez.

Oh. My god. If you only take one thing away from this post let that be it. Lighting is possibly the most crucial element to any photograph, and it holds the power to take you from Halloween to Holla and back again. So face the mother flipping light. If your background is too bright, you are going to be dark. If the main light source is above you, you're gonna get some very unflattering shadows. So think of it this way: if there's a window in your room, you take your selfie whilst standing right in front of that window, so the light makes you look flawless and illuminated like JLo in 2003 (or now. she's aged fantastically). Additionally, if you're outside and it's a sunny day, try and stand in some kind of shadow. You still get the sunlight without the harshness. Thank you, trees.
Pro Tip: If you're super unsure just do a 360 degree spin with ya camera open :)

Keep your eyes on the prize.
All the world's a stage, and if your stage just so happens to be in the public domain, do not buckle under the judgment of commoners.
Ask yourself: would I rather avoid ten seconds of awkwardness now, or get a bangin' selfie in the bag? As the second delightful image which accompanies this post demonstrates, imma go with option two, every time. Also you'd be surprised how little other people actually care about what you're doing. It's mainly in your head, boo. Just live ya life. Plus anyone worth anything will understand the process.

When in doubt, peace & pout. 
A well-executed pout can make your bone structure look great, and chucking up some casual deuces will allow you to pass it off as a joke.

Consider the background.
Sometimes a plain white wall will do, but for the most part it's usually better to go for a scenic outdoorsy background, or at least some solid cushions/art if you're stuck inside. Literally a frickin vase of flowers in the corner of a shot can bring out twenty different colours in your eyes you never knew were there. This is not me talking, it's science. Also the more you give ya fans and admirers to look at, the less likely they are to question how necessary it was for you to post the photo in the first place. Composition, friends. Tale as old as time.

Frame it properly.
Take it in a square if you really must, but a traditional portrait or landscape shot will provide you with more framing options come editing time, and composition makes all the difference. There's a reason those renaissance homies were so into that spiral.

Don't be afraid of props.
A well placed, well chosen prop can not only add to your aesthetic, but lend validity to your decision to post a photo of yourself for virtually no reason. Not that there particularly needs to be one, but sometimes it helps.

Accept that some days your selfie game is just off.
One of the most important realisations that I have had in recent years is that just because my selfies are falling flat, it doesn't necessarily mean I look like shit. A perfect example of this is the fact that I look much better in that photo up there of me taking a selfie than I actually did in the selfie itself. It's really fucking hard to fit the colosseum into a frame that small. Basically, don't let an off day break yo stride.