Gittin' Here

13.11.13 - 3pm (Melbourne time)

Hello friends, I am currently sitting in the Qantas Club waiting for my flight to board, watching a documentary about Nazi medical experiments for uni and trying to force myself to drink this cocktail that tastes like drain cleaner so that the grown ups don't judge me. Seriously though I have no idea what is in this but it is bad. Like gin and that stuff that they give you in Italy that looks like it will taste good but then it's actually the most disgusting thing ever and you're like um no, bellini please.

I've realised that I didn't buy enough snacks for the plane, so imma have to quickly do that before we board. Ugh they're coming around with chips but I had a burger just before so I'm just looking at them sadly. Damn you, shrunken stomach, why do you betray me time and time again. I'm quite ready to get on the plane though, hopefully it'll be relatively empty so I can chill out and sleep for most of the way to Dubai. It really annoys me that they've changed the stopover from Singapore to Dubai because the long flight used to be second and I would sleep on that and wake up in the right time zone but now they've just ruined my whole plan.

Nothing eventful has happened yet, but I'm wearing my panda socks and when I went through security the guy was like PANDA SOCKS?! and called the other lady over and she thought she was going to have to search me but he literally was just like "Panda socks!" and I was like kwl. This is like the time I had to bring my teddy bear back through Changi.

I am going to go back to my documentary and jog off to the plane in a little bit, but for now I shall just sit here staring at this beverage and crying on the inside because it looks so nice but it tastes like sadness and pain. "Stop drinking it then, Madeleine" says my mother in my head. "But I can't," I reply, a tear glistening in my eye as I look off into the distance, "the grown ups will think I'm weak."

14.11.13 - 11.50am (UK time)

I am currently chillin on some random seats at King’s Cross waiting for them to announce the platform for my train to Leeds. I’m highly caffeinated and also it’s cold so typing is a bit of a struggle, but I’ve got another half hour to kill so here we are. The flights were fine, I had the row to myself both times so I managed a cheeky kip on the way to London from Dubai, but I am still extremely le tired, hence the caffeination and also the fact that I keep zoning out and staring at strangers. Stayed at Heathrow and used ye olde wifi for a bit, then got the tube here without incident, so snaps for Maddi, even though it is a direct line.

I hadn’t been to King’s Cross since before they did all the renovations so thumbs up for that, this place looks ballin, but maybe figure out a way for it to not be freezing. That would be kwl. I spent the last two hours in a cafĂ© upstairs, formulating some new schemes, reading a magazine and attempting to eat a muffin, but then my stomach was like no and I was like aiight and had some pretzels and fruit instead. You know how when you travel for too long you just can’t eat anything until after you sleep for like 14 hours? No one else has that? Mistake number 1 was probably the fact that I tried to eat that ‘omelette’ thing Qantas always serves for breakfast. Every single time I’ll be like oh yeah go ahead, and every single time I will be like no that was a very poor decision. I only get it for the hash browns, and they didn’t even have those this time and it was really upsetting.

Innywhoozle, I am quite keen to get on this train and chugging along towards Leeds. It has been a rather stressful morning, mainly due to the fact that passport control was like yo you come here too often and I was like …no and they were like yeah so now I have to work out some kind of black magic to get myself back here in December, so stay tuned for those grand designs. A woman sitting near me is eating some kind of pastry and it is making me feel so sick. I was just like ‘why do I always feel sick after I fly’ but then I was like probs because you’ve just spent 24 hours sitting in one spot in a moving vessel, surrounded by other people, eating terrible terrible food. So mayhaps that is part of the issue here. Also that I definitely shouldn’t have had coffee. Oh weyallz.

I’m trying to remember what I watched on the plane but I can’t so imma leave it here for now. Tata.

PS. Just remembered, I watched some episodes of New Girl, have realised I do like the show, but the theme song still gives me an enormous amount of rage. Oh lordy it is so cold in here my fingers are turning semi blue. Godspeed, platform announcement. 

Dis my view right nah
14.11.13 - 2pm-ish

Oh my god this train is so fast my ears keep popping and it’s so bumpy and they’ve given us tea and I don’t understand why. Like I understand why they gave it to us in terms of it’s first class and also England, but I don’t understand why anyone would think it’s a good idea to distribute hot liquids on this train. Also I’m sitting backwards and I can’t tell if it’s making me feel sick or if I already felt this sick. Pls lord give me strength.

If we had not already guessed, I am currently on the train from London to Leeds, with about 40 minutes to go. There’s wifi on the train and I’m trying to get these blogs actually posted but it won’t let me get my photos off my phone hashtag sadness. At this point I have been traveling for a solid 36 hours, including airport timez, and I have slept maybe 6 of those hours so I am absolutely bloody knackered m8. I'm quite excited to get to Leeds and see what it's like, I'm obviously excited to see Patrick but I'm trying not to think about that because the train is already making me feel unwell and I don't want to add another level of excitement on top of that. The countryside is hell picturesque right now, I saw some horses just before and then I saw a lake thing and it just all looked absolutely splendid huRTLING PAST MY WINDOW AT LIGHTNING SPEED HOW IS THIS TRAIN SAFE

I think we are almost at Doncaster, which is where Louis from One Direction is from so that is a thrill and a half, and Leeds is close to Bradford where Zayn is from so I may start viewing this as some sort of pilgrimage. I am joking, but the fact that I know these things at all kind of cancels that out. I haven't seen many cows yet, which is upsetting because cows are probably one of the most hilarious things on the planet to me. Just their demeanours and their square butts and the fact that once when Sussy and I were in Pinjarra her dad had to stop the car to get something out of the back and there was just this cow standing right next to the window staring at us and peeing, and as we sat there listening to Live Ya Life by Rihanna and T.I. this cow just kept peeing and peeing, for at least a full minute, never once breaking eye contact. It is one of my most treasured memories, and that song has never been the same.

Why do I feel like I've told that cow story already in recent times. It really shouldn't come up that often.

Ok we're almost there and I'm getting a bit overexcited and feeling quite sick so imma wrap this up. Hopefully there will be more thrilling adventures to come over the next few weeks. Or maybe I will just sit in my room in the dark watching movies and eating baked Walkers crisps. Who knows. That's just the mystery of life.

Probably both.

Dis me trying to get the photos to transfer