Hello friends. Today I am coming to you with my thoughts on 1989 by TSwizzle. The gift you never knew you needed.
First of all, if you’re not in the right mood for this album you are going to hate it. The first time I listened to it I thought it was the equivalent of a youtube video with the background music turned up too high. However, in the light of day with my sasspants on, I was inclined to give it another chance and have since added several of the tracks to my critically acclaimed November playlist. Plus I've recently had a renaissance of sorts re: Taytay as a human, so we're bringing back the '09 vibes and chucking together a little review.

Welcome To New York
As a person who has lived in New York at one (albeit fleeting) point in my life, I feel entitled to participate in this song. It sets the tone for the album pretty accurately - and I imagine it did the same for a new chapter in TSweezy’s life - but I’m not 100% huge on it yet. I know I’ll get into it one day when it’s really nice outside and I’m on the tram into the city looking hot, but it hasn’t tickled my fancy as a sittin-on-ma-bed jam. Something about it reminds me a bit too much of giant electronic billboards for America’s Next Top Model that keep flashing between closeups of random facial features slightly too fast and it unsettles me. But that is a pretty New Yorky vibe so props on that one. Additionally, if this song had been out around the time of my year 11 drama trip to NY and LA we would have all without a doubt been completely amongst it.

Blank Space
I dismissed this, like the rest of the album, on my first listen. However, ‘twas the music video that persuaded me to give love a chance. That first bit where she’s on the bed with the eye mask and she just looks super vengeful and bangin’, I was like this is a look I can get behind, let’s hear the girl out. And I am glad I did. When I thought it was about her actual life I was a bit like aiight m8 you’ve taken this malarkey a bit far now, but then I found out it was based on the media’s portrayal of her and all was well. Best played v. loud. Recommended for those of you who want to feel like you’re going through a rebellious phase without having to actually do anything. Got dat milk-crate-back-alley-summer-night beat innit. And an absolute smorgasbord of quotable lyrics ripe for the angsty tweeting.

The intro reminds me of when Lizzie McGuire is trying on all the different dresses at Franca Demonkakakakakatina’s studio, and then when she starts singing we morph into the Walk Off from Zoolander. I would describe the tone of this song as Underground Fashion Week meets Brooklyn Art Gallery and while it is not my fav I can appreciate it as a style. I do like the start of the chorus, but overall I find it a little bit overwhelming, like musical strobe lights.

A+ scheming aesthetic.

Out Of The Woods

Whenever I hear this I just think of the glorious rendition by Drew of youtube.com/mytoecold and I can’t take it seriously. I think I like it though? It reminds me of the movie Red Riding Hood with Amanda Seyfried and Max Irons? And that other guy? And all the guys in that movie were hot and wearing capes? And I really want capes to be an acceptable form of outerwear in this day and age? I would wear a cape while listening to this song. I think I thought it was dumb when I first heard it but then the other night I was sitting on my bed with it turned up hella loud chant-screaming “IN THE CLEAR YETINTHE CLEAR-YET-GOOD” so I think I have warmed to it. Also this is the song that subconsciously convinced me the entire album is about Harry Styles. If we’re a thousand percent real I usually completely ignore the verses and just shout the chorus while scrolling through tumblr and prolly rocking slightly. Also the bridge is kwl. Poor Harry little stitches bae pls don’t cry. How did we not know </3 #fakefans

All You Had To Do Was Stay
I think this is maybe my favourite song on the album, mainly because it is relevant to my own life and I always like songs much more when they remind me of me. This jammity jam is most definitely on my November playlist and the other day I balled so hard whilst listening to it that I dropped pizza on myself so I guess you could say this song and my life at present are both pretty rockin’. I don’t know if I even have anything sassy to say about this one, I just like it. Best served with lipsyncing like if Destiny's Child were in the video for Leave (Get Out) by Jojo.

Shake It Off
This song is banned in our apartment. I don’t know if this ban still stands - we haven’t held a house meeting about it lately - but as soon as we saw the video it was verboten. I have a mental list of people I know to have said “potatoes gonna potate” in the last five years and I go to great lengths not to associate with them, so the “bakers gonna bake”-ness of it really rustles my jimmies in the worst way possible. While I did not appreciate the lyrical direction, I will admit it is a catchy song, and since I believe I have come to understand more about Taytay’s mentality when writing this album it fills me with progressively less rage. It still makes me cringe just a bit too much to embrace though. Says the girl with three Aaron Carter CDs.


I Wish You Would
I only actually listened to the lyrics of this for the first time this afternoon and it did break my heart a tiny bit but ya know what? It hurt my soul because it reminds me of me, and as we learned from All You Had To Do Was Stay, that is a surefire way to make me like a song. So here we are. Slappin’ it on the playlist. One recurring theme that I did pick up on in this album is that gurl likes to drop the fact that she doesn’t have a bedtime. Lots of mentions of 2am and the middle of the night and other such scandalous hours. I, too, am an adult with control over my own sleep schedule and I don't generally handle that responsibility well so if I had written this song it would go something along the lines of “2am, in my room, still thinking about that thing that I was meant to do at midday and stalking [man name] all over the internet while watching Nevermind the Buzzcocks in a hoodie”. Only not really because I would lie in the song to make myself seem better aka use artistic license for the betterment of my creation #donttrustanyone. Basically, good song. The beat reminds me of Flashdance meets STOMP and I am feeling it.

Bad Blood
Oh my god. The first two lines are all you even need. Every single time this comes on I smirk to myself. I don’t even know how to begin explaining the persona one must adopt in order to sing along to this properly but its kind of like if Lady Sovereign went to Degrassi. You need to look really disgruntled and personally inconvenienced/offended but not in a deep way, just like someone fucked up your Starbucks order. I generally singing ‘BAHD BLUHD….. MAHD LUHV…” while shooting greasies (if u ain’t Australian this is just a specific kind of dirty look) at invisible people to my left and right. I’ve just realised I don’t actually have any idea what this song is about because as soon as I’ve heard the phrase “mad love” I just feel like I’m in a fight in Middle School. But this time I don’t have to move anyone out of my MySpace Top 8. ‘Tis a nice chance for recovery amidst the intensity of the rest of the album.

Wildest Dreams
Sounds like Lana Del Rey so I immediately want to skip and never look back. But I don’t because I need to tell you about the song. And then it just keeps sounding like Lana Del Rey. And Lana Del Rey sounds like someone drowning really, really slowly on purpose while wearing a flower crown and a flowy chiffon maxi dress that’s probably some fucked up colour like dusky seafoam or puce. It reminds me of a funeral. I don’t need this kind of soggy negativity in my life. If u like Lana Del Rey u might like it. I am outtie. Please.

Also a terrific scheming aesthetic

How You Get The Girl
COMPLETE 180 FROM THE LAST SONG BECAUSE THIS IS MY JAM RIGHT NOW. I love it. I love it so much. It has the kind of pop beat that will have me smirking and bobbing enthusiastically from the get go. Oh man I just really like this song. Great for sunny day strutting and room cleaning and afternoon drives with ya m8s. Also a good one if you’re trying to delude yourself into believing that some dude is going to come sauntering back into your life all “I am so sorry pls love me”, like that’s probably not going to happen tbh because of the male mentality (eg they r dum) and just the dark realities of life but if you want to escape to that happy place then definitely fang this little ditty right on.

This Love
Alright, Enya. Steady on. Not a massive fan of this one if we’re being hella realz. It’s like someone keeps talking over rainy mood/a really poorly executed meditation podcast. Also some of the dumbest chorus lyrics I have come across in a hot minute. But ya know what, to each their own. If your preferred aesthetic is an unsettling, possibly undead flowerchild emerging from an ethereal lake in the middle of an enchanted forest then I feel like you would like this. I’m more into the sassy witch perched atop a castle in the Scottish highlands kinda vibe atm so I will move on.

I Know Places
The verses make me want to 1. command some kind of military unit and 2. wear this specific black dress that I have and invite a guy over to drink Jack Daniels but then the chorus is like an afternoon drive through the hillside on an overcast day so this really throws me off? And then BAM VERSE we’re back to the battle strategies, ambient lighting and alcoholism but then NOPE SORRY YOU ARE HAVING A PENSIVE LARK THROUGH THE YARRA VALLEY or aRE YOU?! YOU NEVER BLOODY KNOW WITH THIS SONG AND IT UPSETS ME BUT IT’S LIKE MY SOUL NEEDS TO TRY AND WORK IT OUT LIKE A RUBIK’S CUBE OF FEELINGS AND IMPULSES SO WE’RE GONNA KEEP LISTENING TO IT? That does not look like how Rubik’s cube should be spelt. But it is because I googled.

Cosplaying as Harry circa late 2013

I don’t know if I’ve ever even listened to this one guys. Oh nah I have, I remember the dead flowers. Is this one about Harry too? Probs. “Wine-stained dress” I feel u gurl, now we’re on the same page. I also spilled red wine on my monkey onesie at a 21st once it was a tragedy and I don’t know if I’ve even washed it yet I should do that. Oi is this a song about waking up and finally not being in love with someone anymore? Should I go back to the start and listen to it properly? Aiight I’ll be back in a sec with my verdict. Okay. I can’t 100% get behind the weather metaphors or the rainy mood ambiance, but I am understanding what she is getting at and I am appreciating it and I am also a little worried that if I listen to this too properly it's going to make me sad. Ew butterflies. Final verdict I get what she’s saying completely and I appreci8 the sentiment but the delivery is not sitting right wid me and I feel sad on specifically the right side of my face? I’m going to go listen to The Vamps after this.

Metaphoooooorrrrssss. Thematic consistenccyyyyyyyyy. OH I LIKE THIS BIT. The bit with the Little Mix drum beat. A pleasant surprise. The right side of my face is feeling a bit less depressed. A nice little pick-me-up after Clean but I don’t think I’d listen to this on its own by choice. Oh the Little Mix bit just came back and like idk I might listen to this by choice? Quit playing games with my heart, Taytay. Or just like make your musical sections more coherent so I don’t have to be so confused as to whether or not I like the entire song. The dubsteppy bit is making me think I would reserve this for days when I am feeling very intense and also I don’t think I relate to this one so there’s that. I dunno. Alice in Wonderland just reminds me of my year 12 drama ensemble and that was a very stressful time in my life.

You Are In Love
I got distracted during the intro and started playing Hay Day. The way she says “buttons” in the first verse made me frown. Too much repetition of these same three notes. Pls SHAKE IT UP ha ha do u get it ha but like seriously please use different notes. This reminds me of Without You from Rent, which I also find a bit boring, and that one uses at least four different notes. “You keep his shirt, he keeps his word” a gal can dream, Taytay. I believe in u. This song strikes me as a bit of a fanfic of her own life, like Fearless was, but this one is a bit of a downer and Fearless is a happyjam. Imma go listen to Fearless. Oh man yes this is refreshing and also reminds me of rain but in a nice happy way. If 1989 is making the right side of your face feel sad, go listen to Fearless. ABSENTMINDEDLY MAKIN’ ME WANT YOU

New Romantics
Okay back to 1989. In this moment now, CAPTURE IT REMEMBER IT. I lied I’m still listening to Fearless. Okay. So far this reminds me a lot of the Helen Keller song by 3OH!3. I am singing the Helen Keller song over this and it fits real nice. The chorus reminds me of the music they use in like 90% of Australian ads aimed at teens and young adults and I think by this point in the album I am just very exhausted so I might turn it off. I feel like she’s yelling at me.

I never really cared about Matty Healy but then I saw him on Nevermind the Buzzcocks the other day and now I think I want him to wear a shirt with my face on it instead.

I think I like it? I like some of it a LOT, and then other bits I really strongly would like to deselect so they don’t accidentally play on shuffle. You can definitely hear the Lorde influence peeking through #BFF but I get what she’s going for and I think she did it pretty gud. Definitely works for the current tumblr climate. I just have a certain threshold for discobeatz and heavy vocal production and need to have a bit of a lie down now. But I did really love those songs that I said I loved up there but also I miss old Taytay but PPL GROW UP AND WE ALL HAVE TO MOVE ON. That is it. I am done. I am going to watch Escape to the Country on a low volume and maybe drink some tea.